Beaten: Stubbs the Zombie in Rebel without a Pulse (One)

 There was a brief few years in 2004-2006 where I actually had an original Xbox and played a few games for it but I was mostly playing PC MMORPGs then, along with a few handhelds. I had already missed the PS2 console era pretty much, except for a seldom-played Nintendo Gamecube, so the surprise XBox gift opened up that console generation’s library a little. 

One of the titles that caught my eye was Stubbs the Zombie in Rebel without a Pulse, a third person action game where the player plays as the zombie, rather than the other way around as seen in most games that involve the undead. The hook is that your victims become your horde and the player can sort of herd them ahead into attacking police and other living entities. 

 I got pretty far in my old play through, but quit in frustration when the game had a Simon-like dance off minigame that I couldn’t get past. 

I will say, in addition, my play style was less, uh, completionist(?) than it became a few years later with the XBox 360/PS3 era. That era got me up to speed on modern campaigns and what it took to actually commit to beating a game.

In 2021, the game was re-released with improved controls and a few other bells and whistles like achievements, so I recently decided to revisit it. Like my recent play through of Alpha Protocol,  I was hungry enough for the concept that I could overlook the issues.

This was a re-release and not a remaster; a distinction I have learned in recent years, meaning the look and the feel are the same, but a few quality of life improvements were added. Fortunately, one of the improvements was to skip the dance minigame entirely, meaning the studio that remastered it was well aware of how much that part of the game sucked.

In fact, that studio also acknowledged that the tutorial level was awful, as the achievement awarded for beating it was called “That Didn’t Age Well” and was described as “Complete the painfully slow, forced tutorial “. 

None of it aged well, so a discerning gamer will surely turn away from the old graphics and janky gameplay. There are different things to do in the game and a few fun boss fights, so it really doesn’t get monotonous. 

Stubbs also has a fun revenge story and the game’s undead humor shines. I’m glad I returned to Stubbs the Zombie in Rebel without a Pulse, and I’m glad I got to skip the dance minigame and see more of it than my previous attempt to beat it. It’s unique and fun enough, and these days that’s enough for me.

Beaten: Alpha Protocol (PS3)

 I really really need to write these reviews immediately after finishing a game, and not months later.

Alpha Protocol was released in 2010 at the height of the XBox 360/PS3 era (which I call generation nine but the world says is eight) and there was a lot of anticipation for it. It is a full on espionage role-playing game, so a lot of us were thinking "Mass Effect meets James Bond", what could go wrong?

The reviews hit and it appeared that a lot went wrong. There were bugs and glitches of course, but for the most part the consensus was that the action - shooting, hiding in cover, and so forth - was very bad, even if the storytelling and character conversation options were great. So Alpha Protocol came and went, lost to the ages as many much more better games came after. 

There has been, however, an internet wave of nostalgia towards this game that had so much promise, but for me the question was - it is playable enough? Keeping with my recent PS3 love, I choose that version and dove in. 

After enjoying all the conversation options in my recent playthrough of Rise of the Argonauts, I was prepared for it in Alpha Protocol and was not disappointed. It really is deep and complex with options to be a nice romantic bond type or a total douchenozzle. I choose the cold professional but helpful agent. I just did my job and took some weird satisfaction in shooting down all the characters that were clearly hitting on me. "Uh, thanks for the intel, and no I am not interested in a romantic subplot with you" seemed to happen a lot.

The plot is pretty standard - agent gets burned and goes underground to uncover the plot. I loved that the villains are basically flimsy corporate caricatures and the company is basically Halliburton, and that there were little parts of the game where the TV is on talking about world events. There are a lot of small touches here and there that add depth. 

So the reviews were right - the story, characters, and conversation choices represent a part of the game that was clearly designed very well, and for multiple playthroughs. The action though, is so poor that most players wouldn't bother. The player plays in third person, and the aiming is sketchy at best, and the stealth is broken. Crouched behind cover, since Gears of War, usually means the player crouched behind an object is sort of stuck to it, and hidden. In this game, you just crouch near it an obstruction and hope for the best. If a single pixel is sticking out, a guard a hundred feet away will see you.

I had fun in my playthrough, and with a few cool boss fights to break the monotony, even the substandard action was bearable. The concept of an espionage RPG is still out there, but this attempt in 2010 called Alpha Protocol was a step in the right direction. Hopefully, someone will take that concept and run with it someday.

Beaten: Wanted Weapons of Fate (PS3)

Videogame adaptations of movies have earned a pretty bad rap, even though some of the earliest known such games were pretty good (see Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back on the Atari VCS).  Goldeneye 007 in the late 1990s was certainly a high standard, and the first time that I can recall a videogame making me immediately want to see the movie. It should be noted that the movie is adapted from a comic book.

I remember when the movie Wanted came out in 2008 and adding it to a list I had of "get around to seeing it eventually" movies. It had the star power of Angelina Jolie, James McAvoy, and Morgan Freeman, but the wife and I never got around to checking it out, even when it appeared on streaming services we had. I had also heard about the tie-in videogame but it was of course also forgotten about.

That is, until my recent hunt for XBox 360 and PS3 hidden gems, as I am coalescing around the idea that that specific console generation was the highpoint of the entire hobby. I picked up the PS3 version for this as my 360 has been getting plenty of attention this year. Reviews had warned me that it was fun but short, and my expectations were prepared.

Wanted: Weapons of Fate is a third person shooter that takes place five minutes after the movie ended. Having not seen the movie yet was not a hinderance as the game caught me up pretty fast on what was going on. The story revolves around a secretive assassin's guild and the main character's quest to understand both his abilities and history. 

The big hook of these assassins is that they can slow things down and curve bullets, and the game delivers on that cool mechanic. It's really fun once the player gets it going and the controls work well. Other than that, it's third person combat with a story that is a great continuation of the movie - which I watched a few days after beating the game. The movie is also really good.

After finishing, part of me wanted Wanted Weapons of Fate to be a little longer, but that's a minor quibble. Over the last few years I've come to value shorter game experiences, so maybe it was the perfect size. If you're a gamer that can appreciate that too, then this game is recommended.

Beaten: Rise of the Argonauts (360)

 Another XBox 360 game that has turned up in my hunt for games on the system I missed is Rise of the Argonauts, an action adventure depicting a story that, while not necessarily based in existing Greek mythology, was nonetheless an interesting and unique take on all of it.

The player is Jason, and he’s after the golden fleece as usual, assembling his crew of Argonauts on his ship the Argos. From there the story diverges as Jason’s crew features a lot of familiar names like Hercules, Achilles, and so forth, with the goal of getting the golden fleece per legend. In this telling though, Jason is really on a quest to resurrect his fiancé, by getting the golden fleece and using it on her corpse. He unravels a conspiracy of evil behind it all and sometimes does some hacking and slashing to get it done. 

The game unfolds in a linear fashion, with Jason and his crew of Argonauts expanding at each port. At one point the player has a choice of which part of the quest to take on next but after those sections of the game are completed, it’s linear again. 

While it appears this game is just another hack-and-slash, there really is not the same proportion of action to conversation as in other games. Conversations with people one meets and members of the crew are absolutely essential to getting through the game. In a unique twist, conversational choices align with various Greek gods, where Ares might prefer the confrontational approach, Apollo might prefer a more compassionate choice.

Greek mythology is ingrained not only in these conversations and their choices, but in an absolutely unique quest and challenge menu that consists of constellations that, with the completion of a quest or a challenge, add stars to show it. Upgrades to abilites take place in another menu where the various gods grant powers based on the player's actions and conversation choices. In addition to combat and conversation, stopping and praying to those attention-starved gods here and there also adds up. 

The combat is nothing noteworthy but there are a few decent boss fights along the way. No, this game is more about conversation and getting steeped in the mythology as a unique story unfolds, and that part of the game shines. I'd definitely classify this game as an XBox 360 hidden gem and recommend it to any player nostalgic for those simpler times.

Beaten: Ultima Runes of Virtue (Game Boy)

 Talk about a pleasant surprise. At some point in the past I picked up a loose cartridge of Ultima Runes of Virtue for the Game Boy, knowing that it would not be a full Ultima-style RPG, and tried it out. It seemed at first to be more of a dungeon puzzle game than even an action adventure and I didn’t fiddle with it much.

Then I plugged it into my new Analog Pocket and really dug in. Having beaten it after a few weeks of portable fun, I can gladly say that this game stands shoulder to shoulder with Final Fantasy Legend, The Legend of Zelda Link’s Awakening, and Final Fantasy Adventure as must-play Game Boy RPGs and action RPGs. 

So yeah, puzzles. It is a masterpiece of a dungeon puzzle game, with lots of monster combat thrown in. By that I mean, stepping on a floor plate might remove a wall and unleash a horde of spiders. That’s just one example though and fails to describe the gloriously crazy variety of such puzzles and traps.

Once again, playing this on an Analogue Pocket allowed me to save anywhere, eliminating the frustration of multiple repetitive dungeon runs. No, only my own lack of thoroughness and attention to detail resulted in multiple repetitive dungeon runs. None of these puzzles are insanely hard, and if I remember correctly, most can be solved within the same dungeon, with the items you should have, through trial and error and observation.

The game takes place in a standard, classic Ultima top down world. The player starts on a single continent with a few castles, shops, and dungeons, and opens up other sections of the world as the game progresses. Boats act as ferries to get to and from these landmasses, with the final continent only reachable through a dungeon at first, but a ferry opens up once the player has made it through so the dungeon trip does not have to be repeated.

With such complex and clever puzzles in the dungeons, the designers had to come up with a way to get players unstuck if they did the wrong thing. It is possible to get stuck in a lot of situations, so there is an item in the player's backpack to instantly teleport them out of the dungeon and back to Lord British's throne room for a quick healing and reset. It's an ugly solution that forces a complete dungeon restart, but with the Analog Pocket and its save states, I did not need to utilize it often.

There is not much in the way of NPC conversation and interaction, but the player does level up attributes and equipment to a basic degree. And it bears repeating that the player must explore every tile of every dungeon to avoid missing important items. While the goal of each of the eight dungeons is to recover a rune, there are also important items hidden that will be required for the player to advance.

In this sense, the game requires some level of backtracking if the player is not paying attention (like me), and some level of grinding to save up money for some of the more expensive purchases available in shops. Fortunately, it was easy to find places to quickly grind gold, and even some of the more useful items.

It's always a good feeling when a game gives you more than you were expecting. I was expecting a half-assed dungeon crawler that was just cashing in on the Ultima name. Instead, this is exactly what one would hope for in a portable adventure and it was a joy to explore and solve over a few weeks. I guess I had better start looking for the sequels to Ultima Runes of Virtue for more pleasant surprises.